Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
