I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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