Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
