Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
