Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
