I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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