oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
