in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
