You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
