i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
