yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
