Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
