I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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