it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
