When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
