Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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