I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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