I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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