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we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Itโs gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylanโs party
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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