if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
