she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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