Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
