I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize