yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
