Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
