lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sober January is a disaster.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
