she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
