I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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