Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
