Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
