You can't special order awesome
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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