i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
