Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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