Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
