One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
