dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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