Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
