tell your sister to shave her snatch
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
