I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he fucked my hip out of place.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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