What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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