Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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