I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
