I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we're making bets on your personal life
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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