Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
