we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
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Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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