found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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