whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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