He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
