Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
