My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
