I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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