He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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