Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Two words: blizzard sex
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize