i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
