North Korea, Best Korea!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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