Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
