Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
