I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
