what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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