doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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