hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
