I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
